What Amount Of Time Should You Spend Together Before Considering Marriage
We all have that cousin or a family member that got married only after a few months of dating. They usually say the connection between them is evident, and it is completely natural for them to decide to spend their entire lives together.
As far as my opinions go, that is perfectly reasonable. There is no requirement for how many days, months or year that people should spend together before getting married – it is love, not homework. The quality exceeds the quantity by far in this particular instance, I have spent numerous years with people without really knowing them, and days with others where the connection was evident instantly.
But Shauna H. Springer, a well-respected psychologist, strongly disagrees. She wrote an article in Psychology Today in which she states that someone’s ability to delay gratification and prioritize restraint over indulgence in primitive drives is more realized over time.
According to Springer, the optimal amount of time to spend together before getting married is two years. Of course, nothing is set in stone and there are no golden rules in shifty, mercurial things like relationships – but her studies show that you will know the person well enough after two years.
Waiting a bit more if always an option of course, as some flaws and habits that bothered you could very well become a thing you accept. The thing about rushing to a relationship is that eventually, everyone gets out of the honeymoon phase. No one will look like a loving couple from coffee commercials their entire lives – at times we will be too tired, too grumpy or simply not in the mood for anything, and that is all right. Finding someone to spend your life with is a great big deal, and it is best to not rush into things.