IMPORTANT ART OF SAYING NO
€œNo, I CAN’T. I’m so, so, so sorry. I already have plans. €
€œNo, I’m terribly afraid I’m not feeling well. €
€œNo, I would have loved to, but I have to work really early in the morning. €
We soften the blow with a endless list of reasons as to why we dared to allow a €œno € slip out of our soft girl lips.
Whether it’s sex, a second date, a kiss, a party we hardly don’t want to go, an non desired touch from a stranger’s hands, a job or a prior commitment we never cared for, a strong simple €œNO € is hardly our default answer.
So what’s it all about? Why are we so terrified, so quick to stop ourselves from speaking such a short, simplistic word?
Recently, I decided I was going to start saying no as much as possible. I can quickly resign to being a people-pleasing entity who gets buzzed off the quick fix of superficial validation and have had long bouts in which I’ve avoided the word €œno € like the plague.
It was 3 am on a Wednesday night when I firmly decided to quit resorting to a default €œyes € all the f*cking time.
I was at a awful party in a crowded bar and was hating life with an ever-pressing intensity. I was a ball of teeming resentment and excessive negative thoughts clad in an uncomfortable mini dress and painful heels.
I had to work early the following morning. I was in an introverted mood. I was coming off a long and laborious day.
I just wanted to be at home tucked under the soft sheets of my own bed, blissfully sifting through a dream-adorned sleep.
But here I was, deep in Brooklyn, miles and miles from home, clutching a $14 cocktail, stewing in my self-created discontent and misery.
Once again, I had promised to doing something I direly didn’t want to do all because I’m stuck in the habit of the perpetual girl €œyes. €
And in that fine moment as I stared into the smoky 3-am New York City sky, I made a choice: I was done with the business of the unauthentic €œyes. €
F*ck the people pleasing. F*ck the idea that nice girls always say yes. F*ck putting every single person on the fine planet before I put myself.
SO I did it. I took a scandalous dip in the forbidden €œno € pond. And I haven’t left.
And you know what? It feels good in here. I’m not ever going back to saying €œyes € to sh*t I abhor.
I’ve learned a plethora of lessons since I’ve mastered this fine art of saying no.
I’ve learned that €œno € is the most powerful, underrated word in the human dictionary. I’ve learned that us girls are not obligated to forever resign ourselves to a life of endless €œyes. €