IMPORTANT ART OF SAYING NO
“No, I CAN’T. I’m so, so, so sorry. I already have plans.”
“No, I’m terribly afraid I’m not feeling well.”
“No, I would have loved to, but I have to work really early in the morning.”
We soften the blow with a endless list of reasons as to why we dared to allow a “no” slip out of our soft girl lips.
Whether it’s sex, a second date, a kiss, a party we hardly don’t want to go, an non desired touch from a stranger’s hands, a job or a prior commitment we never cared for, a strong simple “NO” is hardly our default answer.
So what’s it all about? Why are we so terrified, so quick to stop ourselves from speaking such a short, simplistic word?
Recently, I decided I was going to start saying no as much as possible. I can quickly resign to being a people-pleasing entity who gets buzzed off the quick fix of superficial validation and have had long bouts in which I’ve avoided the word “no” like the plague.
It was 3 am on a Wednesday night when I firmly decided to quit resorting to a default “yes” all the f*cking time.
I was at a awful party in a crowded bar and was hating life with an ever-pressing intensity. I was a ball of teeming resentment and excessive negative thoughts clad in an uncomfortable mini dress and painful heels.
I had to work early the following morning. I was in an introverted mood. I was coming off a long and laborious day.
I just wanted to be at home tucked under the soft sheets of my own bed, blissfully sifting through a dream-adorned sleep.
But here I was, deep in Brooklyn, miles and miles from home, clutching a $14 cocktail, stewing in my self-created discontent and misery.
Once again, I had promised to doing something I direly didn’t want to do all because I’m stuck in the habit of the perpetual girl “yes.”
And in that fine moment as I stared into the smoky 3-am New York City sky, I made a choice: I was done with the business of the unauthentic “yes.”
F*ck the people pleasing. F*ck the idea that nice girls always say yes. F*ck putting every single person on the fine planet before I put myself.
SO I did it. I took a scandalous dip in the forbidden “no” pond. And I haven’t left.
And you know what? It feels good in here. I’m not ever going back to saying “yes” to sh*t I abhor.
I’ve learned a plethora of lessons since I’ve mastered this fine art of saying no.
I’ve learned that “no” is the most powerful, underrated word in the human dictionary. I’ve learned that us girls are not obligated to forever resign ourselves to a life of endless “yes.”