How To End An Emotional Affair That Is Threatening Your Marriage
An emotional affair is a kind of an emotional bond or attachment that is created with a person outside your existing relationship. While these kinds of connections usually consume all our waking thoughts and actions, and most importantly, pose the biggest threat to the future of our relationship, anyone who has every been stuck in between these two, knows how difficult it can be to terminate the tricky bond.
An emotional affair most often begins pretty innocently and with no intentions of taking things any further than a friendship. However, with the time passing and with the number of secrets, wishes and innermost thought shared increasing, the connection with a person who is not one’s partner tends to get more intimate and stronger. After a while, possibly unthinkingly, people start looking for the qualities, roles, and feelings lacking in their partners, in the third person. Soon after, an emotional affair becomes a very complex labyrinth of feelings that is hard to find a way out of.
Breaking the pattern is essential for ending an emotional affair and restoring your partner’s faith in you
The first step in making your love life less crowded and complicated is to spot and confess yourself an emotional affair. Although it does not involve sexual relations, your emotional affair may include some behaviors, emotions, types of affection and attention that should be shared with your partner, and not anybody else. These kind of extra-marital ‘harmless little trips’ are not harmless at all and can in time cause more damage than those of a physical nature.
So, if you notice that you aren’t being totally honest with your partner about who with and where you spend your time, or you feel like the direction your emotional affair is heading threatens your marriage stability, it’s time to do something about it.
Think about your partner’s feelings and how much it would hurt him/her to know that you’ve let a third person dive inside the secrets of the lives and happenings of you two. Consider how you would feel if your privacy was invaded by an unwanted person who you’re sharing your partner’s attention with.
The next step is being clear with yourself about the reasons that triggered the emotional affair in the first place. This is the crucial step to moving past it, burning the bridges behind.
Very frequently, it’s the issues in the current relationships that start the emotional affairs. This is why it is important to analyze, rationalize and solve all the underlying issues obstructing the happiness in your current relationship so you can make your marriage more stable, protecting it from such events in the future.
An emotional affair is unfair to everyone – to the third person involved, for they’re just filling the hole in your existing relationship, to your partner, for you’re secretly leaking the energy out of the relationship, and to yourself, for causing yourself unnecessary emotional pain.
If you want to make things right, there is no way other than ending it. Invest the energy you’re giving into the emotional affair into changing the problematic aspects of your relationship and remove the distance between your and your partner. Emotional affairs may be satisfying on short terms, however, at the end of the day, it’s the whole picture that matters.
Keep in mind things mentioned because at the end, you might get unhappy again. With that new person you can end up at the level which has turned you off from your initial partner in the first place. It all might end up as a poisonous circle. So, putting a little effort can be a blessing. Quite often we are confused and don’t want to admit to ourselves that we, in fact, have an excellent partner next to us. Sometimes we must also admit that this person is the best in the whole world. Just think about what you have been through and what is it that this person is still ready to do for you. So, satisfying ourselves with others is really not a solution. In a conclusion, arm yourself with patience and will. Be honest, have a respect and be dedicated. This is a key to happiness and long lasting relationship without need for an affair, not to mention the emotional affair.