4 Ways To Avoid Toxic Relationship Altogether
They come in a couple of size with the super-sized one involving drugs or alcohol dependence or violence that is easy to spot. Then there is the insidious midsized, self-esteem sucking relationship which slides a lock around our heart and snap it closed with promises of a happy future. The problem with this kind of a relationship is that its good most of the time until it is seizes to be. It then becomes really awful and not even intervention can help you kick your addiction to hope that the low performance boyfriend will be back to the prince who one made you beautiful and giddy. The easiest way to be free from a toxic relationship is learning how to avoid it altogether. Below are four simple tricks that will help you avoid this kind of heartbreak.
Knowing your attachment style is the first trick. Toxic relationships need some raw material to work on and as hard as it is to imagine, your inner addict along is the raw material in this case. Love is a blueprint drawn before you were verbal and if you were unhappy in your early life attachment, you will spend your adult romantic life trying to repair a broken system. Until we do demine what attracted us too Mr. Toxic, our adult romantic attachment style remains a silent manipulator. Speaking you truth is the next trick. You become aware of your personal roller coaster feeling only when we have learnt about our attachment style i.e. whether it’s riddled with abandonment fears, intimacy avoidance behavior or disorganized push pull mechanism.
It’s important that one is able to communicate these feelings which may mean that even in a vulnerable new relationship, you explain why it’s important to receive regular texts or suggest waiting to have sex until you feel more secure about things. This might help you understand that you control the pace of an early relationship and that your emotional needs are valid. Modeling a healthy emotional communication will also create a safe place for him to open up about his feeling The third trick is red flag means you stop. As much as emotional honesty and therapy will not make you happy, it makes you real. When facing a partner who is rejecting and dismissive, this means red flag. Be brave and move away early keeping in mind that this does not mean you are not lovable.
It’s actually an indication that the two of you are unmatchable. The game of finding a secure relationship is a game of elimination and by being real, authentic, honest, loving and kind will the right person come your way. The last trick is dusting off and beginning again. Whenever you find yourself in a toxic relationship, the best thing to do is being brave and walking out. Moving away early from people who do not meet your emotional attachment is the secret of being in a secure relationship. Its actually the bravest thing a woman who is longing to be loved can do. The most important question one should ask herself is, am I in love or simply addicted to longing, if the latter is your answer, it’s time to grow and move on